Imperfect me; perfect God

Overwhelmed, frustrated, unproductive, spiritually dry and running on empty – that described me over the last two weeks. A bout of the flu compounded by a sinus infection didn’t help. I was a mess all around, until Friday night when I surrendered myself to the internal call for a self-imposed retreat in my bedroom.

There, surrounded by mounds of pillows, my bible, a couple inspirational Christian books, pen and journal, I cocooned myself with my heavenly Father. With only the light from a nearby lamp, I began praying and writing and reading and praying some more and writing some more. I was determined to rise out of the cluttered and scattered feelings that had been greeting me every morning, walking with me through my days and following me into my bed every night.

I blame no one and nothing for my attendant overwhelm and frustration. It was my fault, it always is.

I push too hard for perfection in my days. The household chores, writing tasks and other miscellaneous things must be perfectly executed or I keep going and going and going until I crash from exhaustion and still have to settle with the usual less-than-perfect outcome. And whenever I do that, I take my eyes off my Saviour, who is perfect and focus instead on my feeble effects to perfect things in my life. I neglect or rush through the daily devotional quiet time I promised to Him so that I can get busy with my imperfect perfecting.

But I know (even though I don’t act like it), that things are never perfect, maybe just adequate, good enough or well-done.

Quiet time with God, the very thing that is supposed to keep my eyes on Him and my intentions pure, holy and for His glory is often the first aspect of my life to bite the dust.

Friday night I went in search of forgiveness, assurance, rest and renewal and found them at the feet of my heavenly Father.

This imperfect soul, perfected by the blood of the Saviour is back on track. The track itself is perfect, God the Father set it up and lay it out. He put me, the imperfect, willful, stumbling child on that perfect track with these reminders:

(1) He is in absolute control of every circumstance in my life - (1Chronicles 29;11,12). He is my God, my Father. He knows me – (John 10:14), because He made me – (Psalm 139:13). He loves me - (Romans 5:8). I am His child – (Galatians 4:4-7), redeemed by the blood of the Lamb – (Ephesians 1:3-7).

(2) All that I am and have are from his generous hand – (James 1:17) and I am not to be a slave to either my personal tendencies or my earthly possessions. Instead, He expects me to be a good and faithful steward of my time, my gifts and my talents.

(3) As I weave my way through the varying seasons and circumstances of my life, though the way may be rocky, stormy and uncertain sometimes, I need not be anxious – (Matthew 6:25-34), because He has already designed the path of my life - (Proverbs 20:24). Moreover, He walks beside me, holds my hand, carries my burdens, steadies me when I stumble and lifts me up when I fall - (Psalm 37:23,24; 40:2; 68:19)

It was the perfect preparation for Sunday worship this morning. The sermon, the Lord’s Supper the fellowship, together formed the perfect platform to face the uncertainties of the new week because my God who is unchangeable and unchanging.

These valleys I go through make for some of the sweetest times with God. Don’t you think? Has it been like that with you and God?